Filling a Bottomless Hole
by Ability King KK
Summary: Heart broken, she goes about trying to repair it. Misty's POV. Rated M for mature themes.


Why?

Why did he choose her over me?

I can remember it like it was yesterday.

It was about three years ago when I was fifteen. I had heard through the grapevine that Ash was coming home from the Sinnoh region after competing in the Pokémon League over there. I then heard rumors that he was going to join the Kanto Battle Frontier. This surprised me, as I didn't even know he beat the Battle Frontier in the first place. His induction was going to be in three weeks time after he arrived home and I was going to use that time to confess to him.

Three weeks passed by slowly for me. I hated waiting, but it was going to be worth it once I had Ash to myself. At the celebration, most if not all of Ash's friends were there to congratulate him. As the ceremony came to a close, I made my way over to where Ash was so I could tell him, but what I saw made me freeze where I stood and my heart crack.

He was kissing another girl.

That lavender-haired girl who ran the Battle Tower.

What was her name?

Oh yes, Anabel.

I could feel tears stinging my eyes as I turned and ran away from the sight. No one must have noticed as no one came to stop me from leaving.

Over the years, I am still depressed over what I saw. I tried to mend my heart by dating other guys, hoping one of them could fill the hole in my heart, but alas, they could not. When I became eighteen I tried a different, more intense method.

Sex.

Every guy I dated I had a one-night stand with, but I always pictured it was Ash I was with. Aside from the random men I pleasured, I even went as far as to go for men I haven't seen in years.

Like Rudy.

When I met up with the gym leader from the Orange Islands, it was when he was visiting the Kanto region on business. I was somewhat hoping he still had feelings for me, but the look on his face said otherwise. As nicely as he could, he tried to ask why I looked older than the last time we met.

I always wondered why someone like Rudy, who was probably in his late teens/early twenties when I first met him, would have feelings for an at the time eleven-year-old.

Either he was in to Lolita or he was a pedophile.

I didn't care though. I wanted relief!

He was reluctant, but we were able to rent a hotel room and I was able to get what I want. But it wasn't enough. My heart still felt empty.

Days later I met a purple-haired man who had come to my gym. To my surprise, he was looking for Ash and said that since I was one of Ash's friends, I should know where he was. When I asked him why, he said he wanted to have a rematch, since Ash had beat him in the Sinnoh League. Then this must be that Paul guy Ash was a rival with. I got a devious idea.

I made him a deal. I'd tell him where Ash was if he did something for me. When I told him what I wanted, he gave me a look of disgust and said he'd search on his own. I questioned him why not and he had the gall to say that he didn't want to get an STD. The nerve of him! I may have been sleeping with multiple guys, but I know that I'm clean…relatively speaking of course.

Unfortunately, my sisters walked in when he said that and they demanded what gave him the right to say such things. He told them what I offered, which made them look at me in surprise. They wanted an explanation and I tried to lie to them, but Daisy could tell I was lying. She always could. By this time, Paul had left.

I told my sisters what I've been doing for the pass few years and what I've started to do recently. I don't know what was worse, the looks of disgust I got from Violet and Lily or the look of disappointment I got from Daisy. What they did next was something I didn't think they'd ever do. They took my Pokémon and then kicked me out!

Violet had the gall to say its because they didn't want a slut to tarnish the gym reputation! They're just jealous that I can at least get a man and have sex…though I think Daisy and Tracey have had something going on.

…Who am I kidding? I've become addicted to this lifestyle. All because I couldn't get the one man I loved, I seek pleasure and satisfaction from men I don't even know and I actually like it. I hate myself though.

It has been a few months since I was kicked out of my home and am now living on the streets of Saffron. I would have gone to one of my friends for help, but I did not want them to see me like this. I was dressed in rags, my hair was all ragged and unkempt, I had dark circles under my eyes, and I almost skin and bones from the lack of eating. Its too the point where I'll now sleep with someone for money or food, just so I can survive.

I was walking near the Magnet Train Station to try and get some new "customers" when I stopped in my tracks. Up ahead was the man I wanted to blame for this whole mess…but my still broken heart would not let me. For I still loved him. He was standing next to that lavender-haired bitch who stole him from me and she was carrying…oh no. In her arms was a small child of about two-years-old by the looks of it and he looked just like just like his father.

My eighteen-year-old love turned his head and his eyes widened a bit when he locked on mine. He said something to the man stealer and with that, she went into the station while he walked over towards me. I wanted to run away like I did years ago, so I didn't have to deal with the pain, but it was too late.

"Misty?"

He was right there, giving me a look that held confusion, surprise, and worst of all…sadness?

"Ash," I said in a hoarse voice. It's been so long since I actually talked to anyone.

"Misty, what happened to you?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Misty…"

He gave me a stern look. One that said he did not want to play around and that he was serious. I am so turned on right now, but that will have to wait. Might as well answer. I mumbled a response, but he couldn't hear it so I said it louder.

"Its your fault I'm like this."

"H-How is this might fault? I don't even know what happened to you! You look as if you're homeless though."

"I am homeless, you idiot! My sisters kicked me out when they found out I've been fucking every person I meet with a dick between their legs for little over a year!"

I quickly clamped a hand over my mouth. I can't believe I just yelled that out loud and in front of him. He looked at me with wide eyes. He could say one thing.

"Why?"

I fought back with a question of my own.

"Why did you choose her?"

"Who?"

"You know who. That woman you were just with."

"…What does Anabel have to do with anything?"

"Everything! If you hadn't chosen her and chose me instead, I wouldn't be living like this!"

The small, very small, rational part of my mind was telling me I have gone insane. The glare I was getting from Ash probably told me he'd agree.

"That's why? You've reduced yourself to being a slut because I love Anabel and not you? Misty, I thought you were smarter than that?"

"I love you, Ash. You should be with me. We've known each other for a long time, longer than you've known that woman. Please, leave her so we can be together!"

I was really desperate, crazy desperate. The hole in my heart was getting bigger and I could feel it. Especially when his glare came back and fiercer than I have ever seen anyone glare before.

"That woman, who has a name by the way, is my wife and will not let anyone talk badly about her, even if they are or, in your case now, were my friend. As for leaving her, I'd rather give up my life as a trainer before I did that. I have a family with her and I will never abandon her or my son, both of which I love with all my heart! Blame me all you want, but don't blame Anabel for you going down the wrong path. You made the choice to live this way, so you're the one who has to live it."

He then turned and started walking away from me, leaving me in my despair. I could feel the tears rolling down my eyes as I felt my heart finally shatter. How could this happen? How could I lose him for good? He was right about one thing.

It is my fault.

It's my fault that I've been living like this.

I could have taken right path, got over Ash, and found someone nice. Instead, I chose the wrong path, became obsessed with Ash, and fucked every guy I could while imagining it was Ash.

I couldn't stop now though, even if I tried. I've become addicted to this lifestyle and the only way for it to end is through death.

**FIN**

**-:-**

**Kinda dark, wasn't it? Misty just banging random men because she lost Ash to someone else? I'd say I'd feel sorry for Misty, but…eh.**

**The Rudy x Misty pairing always bugged me. When he first appears, Rudy looks to be about in his early twenties and he's hitting on Misty who was eleven at the time? *shudder***

**I was originally going to have it where Paul was going to do it with Misty, but I felt that would be in bad taste. I was also going to put in a scene at the end where Misty walks into an ally so she could die in peace from a broken heart, but even I have standards and couldn't kill her off. Be happy, Misty Fans, I spared your bloody "Tomboy Goddess". Won't mean I'll do it next time though.**


End file.
